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The Mysterious Murder of Marilyn Monroe

My most recent book that I just published on Amazon (now available on print at lulu and soon in Barnes & Noble and other major retailers) The Mysterious Murder of Marilyn Monroe has a very sensitive topic for it touches us even today, about the theory of conspiracies that remains until nowadays. I also talk about the assassination of JFK and many more issues that we inherited with the cold war. So I was afraid to let it out all open. At that time I had completely stopped writing and that had nothing to do with writer's block. I was simply denying the fact that I was too afraid of letting the matters being out in the light. My father then asked me why I stopped writing, and I gave him many excuses... but he knows me too well, then he said, " You are afraid of what people may think of it.' That answer touched me too deep. But I was still in denial. I couldn't figure out exactly why I had stopped with the book. So I started to write other books with much more "light" subjects, which was pretty fine since some sold right after I published them. It was after all these years that I felt comfortable to give the finishing strokes to that book and there it is, ready and in many people's lives now. I'm so glad I finally gave up and listened to my father's wise words. He knew it more than I did. I was afraid of what people might think of the things I wrote in that book. But now I'm ok with it, for now I know if I didn't put this book out there no one would ever do, and people wouldn't know about the things I say there. I never used a pseudonym, never felt like it, only made a pun such as "Ana Bowlova", for sometimes I feel like I love to bow (bow lover) to make reverence to life and also bowl over things... go figure. This book Iḿ talking about had many spins and turns until I felt ok to go push forward to let it breath and see the light, "The Mysterious Murder of Marilyn Monroe" that I have written in the end of 2011, it was a project that I was developing with another Mystery/Suspense writer in a writing workshop and we had to talk about the things that happened fifty years before the next year and that it would be the year 1962. So in my research I found out about so many things that happened then, and it was a revolution going on in my head. Many things that were not revealed or were never really being very investigated, that was all too fishy. So I divided the topics and decided to share ideas to write the book. But for some odd reason (that I can only conceive it now as a type of fear) a sensation of letting people read my own thoughts that froze me for about three years. I wrote many other books in the meantime, there was not actually a gap there, so I cannot even call this a writer´s block (I actually have no idea what it means, for me ideas pop up in my head all the time) so that was not even the problem of finishing the book. The thing was much deeper. It was that feeling of being rejected that I told you above, I was simply afraid of what people would think of my words, my work, the things that I was revealing there. But hey, it was just in the end of 2014 when I decided to give it the last strokes and finish it and voila:


Temptation (Natalie’s Edge, #1)Temptation by R.B. O'Brien
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The first thing that grabbed my attention on this book was its cover. A beautiful woman with only her underwear and her Ballet shoes, not quite the ballerina type. As a professional Ballet dancer with a keen eye for the "perfect" body I saw some flaws on this image of a ballerina. Actually her overarched back already gives it, almost like denying her sexual pleasure, although wanting and craving for it. And the way she tied the ribbons on her pointe shoes showing some sloppy terms with her Ballet training, or lack of instruction on how to do it well. If she cannot lace her own shoes, never mind thinking about her hiding the knots. She is definitely not an expert, but immature. A kind of a Lolita, as the way she looked at the photographer in the picture. So you already get the picture of what´s inside. Whoever made that cover is an artist and an expert in communicating a feeling and a storyline. Natalie is indeed that kind of girl who tried to hide herself inside assorted masks, making her appear vulnerable and self-confident,at the same time, but she´s totally naked on the outside. And so it goes with her attitude towards life itself. Her boyfriend (and I mean Michael, the one she didn´t cheat on... yet!) is in no way insecure, but totally controling. Where people see flaws in character I see a very courageous woman. Natalie lives her life to the fullest. She is eager to experiment. But she draws the line, the boundaries in bondage. And, like any girl who had to endure years of Ballet discipline and exercises to ensure a good performance, she expects more of herself than anyone else. It´s no secret that Ballet forces you to get into a more Masochistic scenario. After all, for the sake of beauty and pleasure for the eyes of others you get to force yourself into a regime that not many can take. Some readers may get mislead, though, and failing to see her character as faulting where she is actually just showing how human one can be, and they are oblivious to the thruth beneath the domineering process. Natalie is being true to herself when she tries to walk into the wild, to reach out to her self-discovery, her true self. And there she might even get hurt, or fall in love. Fall will be the exact word. For she is much more falling in love than being loved or in love. She starts to get her broken pieces and put it all together again. The guilt about her cheating on who appears to be as a cold, self-absorbed, bloated-minded, selfish boyfriend Scott doesn´t impede her a bit to the beat (and beating)of a sensual symphony. The author was crafty enough to let loose ends on him. She doesn´t allow the reader to get into deep with this guy, and in turn you don´t give much credit on him. So cheating is like shitting in the sense that you do crap while sitting on it and as you get up it´s just then that you see what you have done. You couldn´t get more real than this. The realistic characters are well portrayed. But the guilt she feels upon her boyfriend seems innocuous. Nothing would take her out of her purchase, per-chase per se (purr... poor?) poor cat being chased by a rat. Maybe if the story was not told in first person it wouldn´t touch so deeply as it does. And it won´t cause as much impact, and we wouldn´t feel such empathy for the main character. Michael became a subterfuge for her psyche - she likes to play games. She likes kinky stuff, she is into it, into becoming objectable and objectionable, to be subdued, dominated. She found that part of her and she thanked Michael for that. But that´s where lies the devil: She´s really confused, she doesn´t really want to loose it. The devil is not as ugly as they painted. R.B. made a real portrait of what´s underneath the veil. She mastered on making characters so close to us, so not at all perfect, disturbed and lost. The way Michael turned what seemed so right into something so wrong... Let´s just hope that Redemption will come easy on her...as the series goes, well, I think that this is more like a trilogy and I just hope I could see different colors and covers for the extreme make over.

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In another note, not as hysterical but historical as the devil, my book about the ballerinas and their complexity with passion is also in Italian. Pierrot & Colombina Who knew this romantic language would make so well with my mystery/historic novel and in tune with the characters? Well, one of the main characters is Italian, so no wonder it was fascination and drill all over the deal.



Good news: Kids on the Block! The Pakistani activist of the rights for girls to have education, Malala Yousafzai, has recently won the Nobel prize, being the youngest to receive the prize and giving hope over the gender inequality that hover over women around the world. In her speech at the Commonwealth Day in March of this year she says, "Dear sisters and brothers, in this world, we are living as family of nations and it is necessary that each member of this family receives equal opportunities of economical, social and especially educational growth. Even if one member stays behind, the rest can never go forward." Malala was shot for defying the authority in a kind of censorship political effort to ban females to attend school. They are afraid women can be part of social and political activities thus making changes in a patriarchal system and they think that talking women out of their human rights will diminish their power in society. Does any one of those men in power know that if it was not for women that they would never be? It is time to end this and many other nonsense inequality in this world. With the globalization there is no more room for this type of feudal mentality. The planet is so interconnected nowadays that a health crisis in West Africa threats the whole West world with an Ebola outbreak. But we shouldn't think of the world as subdivided into categories, poorer countries, less advanced social and economic regions, a high society, a poor neighbor and less provided parts, underdeveloped world, etc, etc. Because we as planet are One. If we continue to have that mentality of us against them, of fighting global poverty we will miss the train of thought that can take us to a more clear reality. Nothing says more about inequality than poor and wealthy. But Happiness goes beyond economical crisis. It's an inner disposition that has nothing to do with social, economical, gender inequalities. And it has everything to do with an ulterior reason from an interior force, pulse, for being happy and helping others find their way to happiness. That's why I wrote the book "A-Z of Happiness". Finding your bliss in true equality and great quality can only benefit others, helping the world being more equal one step at a time.
For example here in Brazil, where inequality took such an unbalanced proportion that rich people live encapsulate in their own house and living side by side with slums, and the wealthy people have to be literally incarcerate inside their own mansion because they will risk being robbed or even worse, being assassinate if they put their feet outdoor. The inequality became a knife with two points. And why inequality exists? In India, besides the economical plateau we still see the downturn in society. There is also the religious issues. In Brazil the inequality has some similarities and although it is quite ambiguous it's clear that inequality comes from other things been too equal. That meaning in the other side of the scale there is a factor that distorts deeply this equation making it quite unbearable to see the facts. But the truth is while we fight to change this so controversial issues things are in a very general and slight way improving. In Brazil, poverty is decreasing and it's thanks to a political change in the way things were handled, not so much from a global political change but rather from private initiative that generated an avalanche of projects and perspective. As a good result if in a continue process equals a better result in an exponential effect, the chances are that changes will happen in a happy merry-go-round way. But we still see much inequality in places where issues such as Education and violence, health and home, transportation etc should already be resolved if we see that poverty is diminishing. But inequality still plays a major role because, let us face it: it's not making anybody less poorer or people less richer thatn we can vanish inequality for good. We cannot and should not divide the world in rich and poor. That only agravates the issue. The problem here is not how many people or countries in this world have lack of education, home, a decent income, or whatever differentiates what's to live with dignity and what's to live with the dignifying amount of money. It's the way we think of inequality that we need to change. It's not US versus, but much more UNIversus, us together as one, no inequality means no to say that we may differ from others, we are no different than our neighbor, a country cannot differ from another if all of them lives on the same planet, breath from the same air, and depends on the same source. There is no inequality and period. Thinking like this sounds pretty silly, Utopian even. There is no way to see inequality if we don't see it as nonexistent. Because if we ought to see reality as it is, inequality cannot be. Once we are all born equal and human rights are accessible to all and not only some, there will be no such thing as inequality.